License to Kill?





Image Courtesy: Dreamstime

Girl commits suicide, unable to bear the humiliation of being snubbed and dumped by her ex.


Student commits suicide unable to cope with college pressure.

I just can’t figure out why people today are so sensitive, to the extent that they are unable to tolerate when someone blames them or points a finger at them. Why are we not able to take criticism in the right spirit from others?  Have we lost the ability to be resilient, instead call it a day, once and for all and give up? The World is fast paced, but why are we impatient and look for quick results? Why do we get into bouts of depression just because we failed at one point? Where has the virtue of patience gone? Has optimism and Positive thinking; despite being stressed repeatedly; become a thing of the past? When we should be giving a lot of room for positive thoughts and withstand the negative forces which trying their best to hamper our progress, we are unable to digest that one negative setback?

I wonder what drives them to take that drastic (read senseless) step. Fear of failing, humiliation and depression might be some of the reasons.  People call them cowards, who do not have the capacity to take life with all its shortcomings. Somehow I cannot stop myself from expressing my resentment when I come across such suicide cases. Human beings are all dependent on each other in some, small yet significant way. The pain of losing a dear one, through natural causes, is unbearable. People losing their lives in freak accidents causes even more pain and agony, we call it fate. Amidst all this, how can some people be so stupid enough to decide to end their lives, without imagining the possible consequences of their hasty actions? I would call them Selfish, they are so self centered that they plainly refused to think of how much distress their near and dear would have to undergo because of them.

More than friends and siblings, I feel terrible when I think of the plight of the parents who have lost their children this way. Is that the respect people show their parents for all that they have done? Would it not be killing the parents inside, to have them see the funeral of their child? Even in times of dire poverty or financial troubles, parents see to it that their kids are not made to feel the effect of the situation they are in. They are ready to walk the extra mile, just to make sure their kids are comfortable. We grow up seeing such parents and still we do this to them? An irreplaceable loss for the parents, which will haunt them till they breathe their last.

Talking about the reason that people think ending their lives would put all troubles to rest; I personally feel that there are 2 main reasons for it. People do not know whom to trust with their problems or they are not in a position to communicate or express what is going on in their mind to someone whom they can trust. Sometimes even without us realizing it, we might have distanced ourselves from our parents or friends due to some reason. People either get busy with other things or just that they prefer not to show their affection in an explicit way (meaning, they take it for granted or they do not want to stress on something which is obvious). We human beings think too much and complicate the most simplest of the things. We draw a hundred conclusions on why the other person is supposedly acting weird or ignoring or not giving us the importance which we require. We take it upon ourselves to decide that they do not care for us anymore and so in times of distress we do not know to whom to turn to.  The mistake we make is, we think when we are in trouble, people would think twice before coming to our aid.  We think and think, and forget to ask for help, and take it upon ourselves to set things straight, and the first option which many people look for is, Suicide.

I’m not summarizing and saying that all suicide cases are because of the abovementioned reasons. Some of them are. We are not responsible for their actions, but what we could do is, make sure that our friends know that we are always available when they need someone to listen to them or when they need help in sorting out their troubles .We could stress on the fact that, they mean a lot to us and we would always be there for them.  We might not be able to save many lives, but even If we mange to save one life, it makes the world of a difference to them.

30 thoughts on “License to Kill?

  1. Well, I do agree with whatever you said. Coz at some point of time, I had been to that place too. If not for friends, I would be in another life(if it exists). Reasons for suicide, as you pointed out, is mainly coz of unable to express/share whats eating inside. I know many of them, who weer on verge of taking their life, but for friends, a little talk, helped. In most case, its youngsters who resort to that extreme, some family pressure, love, and n number of other things.

    But the strangest thing would be when you come to know, someone close have resort to that step, we would be shocked, and only then would questions storm our mind, question for which we dont have anyone to answer. We ponder on to reasons what might have driven them to take that step, but all our efforts go for vain. Suicide generally are decisions taken in spur of the moment. Its natural people dont think about doing suicide, they just do. Its not possible for us to read whats going on other mind everytime, but yes, expression of love does make a lot of diff, to both the persons..

    Thankfully, i stand now on the other end, where I have not only managed to transform myself from a coward to stronger person, but also be mad(read make a difference):)

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  2. Wellsaid.

    I know it sounds awkward,but I think we should start showing films like “Its wonderful life” in schools…thinking needs to be repaired right from the grassroot level…

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  3. Do you really think that a girl who is humiliated by her affair with a man is equivalent to being “criticized” and she should take it in the “right spirit”? With all due respect, it is a very ill-informed opinion if you really believe that. This society is designed to pressure people to the extent that they are unable to cope with it. It is not about an isolated incident or when someone randomly fails an exam.

    It is about lack of support, and that includes parental support. Suicide is about when pain gets more than the means to cure that pain. It doesnt come from a person feeling weak, it comes from when you see no other option, and society as a whole plays a role in that and not just one person.

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  4. Our society programs us to take too much stress, throw us in to a competitive world…we start racing…it helps few people coz the majority has no time to think and hence vulnerable to exploration…and it is that lack of thinking that leads to ppl committing suicide…ppl say that it takes guts to die…i think it takes guts to live when the chips are down…

    nice read…

    Cheers!
    SUB
    http://khonjtheeternalsearch.blogspot.com

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  5. @ Adreamygal
    I agree with you. We would first be shocked to hear of what happened, but would we not go on to think about the repercussions? And yes, they are spur of the moment decisions which we cannot make out from them before, still.

    @Rohan
    I agree with you. When they are treated in their budding stages,it could have some positive effects on them.

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  6. @ Raaji
    Don't get me wrong. But that was not the only option she was left with.I agree that the soceity pressurizes people, but SHouldn't we live for ourselves and those whom we are concerned about? WHy should I bother with what the society says?

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  7. “I just can’t figure out why people today are so sensitive, to the extent that they are unable to tolerate when someone blames them or points a finger at them.”
    This says a lot, you don't have a clue what goes on in the psyche of someone who commits suicide, do you? It's easy to say why don't they think of their parents, why don't can't they take criticism or humiliation but the fact remains we can fill pages and pages with posthoc arguments about the reasons behind the act and why such acts should be condemned, but that does not mean anything unless you put yourself in that person's shoes.

    @adreamygal “Suicide generally are decisions taken in spur of the moment. Its natural people dont think about doing suicide, they just do.”

    This is not correct. Most people who commit suicide think about it a lot. It's not easy to take one's life you know. If you visit the hospital emergencies, you will see most of them come with some previous evidence of self harm.

    This brings me to my central point. We all shower sympathy and rationalizations after the act is done. Where were the the parents, friends, lovers before the act happened? Why didn't they change the situation which leads on to the act? It's easy to offer sympathy but difficult for us to actions. Why do we ignore their despair? Why don't we stop them when they are in the initial stages of self harm?
    We are afterall a bunch of self-congratulating hypocrites patting each others back for our supposed resilience.

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  8. @ Chitra
    Yes, Parents should also be the friends whom their children can turn to when the need help.

    @ Debajyoti Datta
    Yes Sir. That one thing still puzzles me. ALl of us have our ups and downs in life. How we deal with it matters a lot. But Taking one's life is NEVER the only option left.

    And another point is, not everyone is a mind reader. I agree that the parents should monitor their wards closely, but beyond a point, unless I express myself and communicate my fears and thoughts, I cannot expect help from someone. One might be able to get a vague Idea that something is wrong, but if the other person does not open up, even after being approached, who is to be blamed?

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  9. See we often fail to realize that the person not opening up means that something is wrong, somewhere there is a problem. Think about this way, a little baby becomes sick. Obviously it is the duty of the parents to help the baby. Same thing happens to a suicidal person, for some reason or the other they may be unable to express themselves, they may refuse to open up. It becomes our duty to recognize this and lend them a helping hand, not criticize them.

    When a baby becomes sick and the parents don't recognize that eventually leading to the death of the baby doesn't it become the fault of the parents?

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  10. In my humble opinion, these kinds of problems always get their root from the home. We are neither perfect individuals nor we come from perfect homes; but then, we also don't live in a perfect world. Our family is our first and most immediate microcosm of this world. And if the family does not prepare us for what lies beyond the home's confines, these things can happen. Today's society, however, is slowly eating away at the very core of the family unit.

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  11. Fear of failing, humiliation, unfullfilled wish, unexpressive nature, habit of storing the emotion and not releasing it, thinking nobody would understand them etc are the reason which convert into depression which make our mind and vision blind and it stop us to think about our parents and take this drastic step.
    Nicely observed everything. Once again gud work:)

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  12. Need of the situation.
    People commit suicide in a weak moment where the emotion takes over the wits. They are not strong enough mentally to see things objectively.
    The only motto that can help in such situations is “This too shall pass”

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  13. Personally, I too would have all my sympathies for the parents. The one who had to go, went, but they utterly disappointed, shocked and robbed their parents from literally everything they had. Even though there might be siblings, but a sibling is no substitute for the place the person gone had in their heart.

    I don't wish to comment on the reasons, some are forced into it as there is no other way, and as you said there are numerous other reasons too, but still, suicide is no single option.

    Regards,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  14. @Debajyoti Datta
    Yes, to an extent, parents must realize something is wrong and find out what is bothering the child. But if the child doesn't co-operate with the parent, we can't blame the parents alone.

    Aasiyah
    Yes. I completely agree. From a tender age, our family has to help us prepare mentally, how to face the world. But they can only help.

    @Magiceye
    Yes. Stress levels due play a vital role. What pressure our parents felt when they were in their late 50s, we are experiencing that pressure in our teens. So we are not yet mature enough to deal with it by ourselves.

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  15. @Mithlash
    Yes. We take life too seriously for that.Thank you.

    @SpciySweet
    Exactly. They are not mentally strong enough to deal with the pressure by themselves. They refuse to seek help and take bad decisions.Thanks for dropping by.

    @Blasphemous Aesthete
    Yes.Very True.Parents are the worst affected, and they always have another option. Thanks for dropping by.

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  16. Been there, felt that – several times! But somehow managed to push it aside each time. I think that regardless of society or pressures or whatever, it eventually comes down to YOU. How strong are you? What/who are your priorities in your life? How much do you value and respect yourself – do you really think that you and your life is so worthless that it can be thrown away just for some xyz who dumped you or some exam you failed? You might have made a mistake-but so what? Who hasn't? And who is anybody to judge that what you did was a mistake?
    Sometimes it just pays to think too much of yourself you know!

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  17. @ Anne
    Wonderfully worded. The same line of thoughts. AS you said, we could blame it on the society, parents and friends, but the truth is, we are responsible for it. You've put it so very well.
    These people either don't know the value of life, or take it way too seriously.

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  18. It psyches me out as well! I feel bad for parents, but there was this lady who committed suicide because Anna was fasting and her two kids are left behind!

    Such people, need medical help. If only, people around them understand that and respectfully listen to their problems.

    Cheers
    Chintan

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  19. @Shri Ram Ayyangar
    Yes Sir. People spend time thinking too much about insignificant matters and don't think enough when needed.

    @Chintan
    Very well said Chintan. People should be tolerant. Listen to others well, and shouldn't take too much to heart.

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  20. I have had seen cases wherein people have given up on their life. The same question struck my mind. People give up when the intense feeling of failure overcomes the great warrior within themselves. Nice post.

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  21. @ Aakash
    Thank you. Yes, you are right,people give up a bit too soon. If they pause for a minute and think of what they've accomplished and what they are capable of, they'll know they are worth living.

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  22. The inability to connect with real life people or the lack of sensitivity of the latter to the suicidal person's problems both real and perceived, are the major causes according to me. sometimes all it takes is a willing pair of ears to listen, to stop a suicide.

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