Guest Post : "Beauty is Skin Deep" By Sujatha Sathya

Sujatha’s  “Conversations “was the first blog I read, after joining Indiblogger. Reading her articles on various topics written with a natural style, triggered me to get into blogging more actively.If it had not been for her, I wouldn’t have taken blogging so seriously and I would’ve been completely ignorant of  the beautiful world of Blogging. The thing with Sujatha is, she can write on any topic under the sun, and ensure that her readers enjoy what she writes irrespective of the topic, which proves her versatility. I felt so honored when she consented to write me a guest post, when I asked her. Thank you Sujatha.
Beauty is Skin Deep
And hence, it is superficial; it doesn’t last, it can’t be trusted & so shouldn’t be idolized or desired.This is the puritanical view of beauty. Is it really so?

“I am tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?” – Jean Kerr (writer)
Why do we, pseudo-intellectuals, always trivialize beauty, especially the kind that takes the form of a woman? Why are we skeptical of those who are physically striking? Why do we immediately scorn & say, “See beta more than physical attractiveness, mental/spiritual beauty is more important.” Can’t a woman be both? Are gorgeous women necessarily bad/dangerous/evil or even stupid? I think it is our own inadequacy that makes us pull down a stunner. We gloat when we run someone down with our high-sounding ideas.
If someone is good-looking, it is hugely thanks to their genes & to their efforts at trying to be that way. Why should I grudge someone their moment under the sun? If my neighbor is beautiful, & my prettiness doesn’t crack a mirror, doesn’t mean I go around philosophizing “Beauty is nothing. It is only skin deep, character is everything” while all along, deep down, I’m dying to get the adulation that she is receiving, & whole-heartedly envying her looks, & wishing, if only I were as arresting as her. I’ve looked & openly admired women who looked stunning. Many find that odd, coming from another woman, but I feel what the big deal is anyways? She is a sensation & whether I’m or I’m not, has no bearing on the fact that she is! And if it’s there for everyone to see that she is totally rocking, why not admit it instead of throwing nasty comments or evil glances? Why hide behind inane moralistic statements?
Every love story has begun with the eyes. And if there are those that haven’t, I salute those who transcended their worldly pleasures & rose beyond the compulsions of the flesh. Amar prem. But how many of those do we really have – a handful? I’m not one of those. I’m a normal, hot-blooded woman who feels attraction has a role to play in all amorous relationships & totally loving the fact that it does. I believe in love at first sight. Retrospectively speaking, the ones I had incurable crushes on or a romantic relationship with, were all men who I had a serious physical attraction to – a crackling chemistry, a glance, a look, a stare, a smile. That is what sparked off the initial interest in the person & thereby, a desire to know him better. Then, once you interact, & the person opens his mouth, that’s when you gauge whether the attraction will wane or wax. The attraction doesn’t guarantee a long-lasting relationship but it sure is the starting point.
We involuntarily judge, like, dislike, a person on the first meeting based on how he looks. How he wears what he wears, the way he walks & talks, all add up to make an impression within the first few seconds of the meeting. Wit, approach, preferences, humor, mutual tastes all follow later & will decide the fate of the interaction. So if I’m attracted to a handsome man, why is it looked down upon? What crime have I committed? You say, “Beauty is skin deep”. I say, “He IS edible, isn’t he”?
Definition of beauty varies. Large eyes, fair complexion, long thick black hair, clear skin, full red lips for women, & broad shoulders, strong arms, tall stature for men is the Indian standard. But I’ve seen darker women being extremely beautiful & curly haired ones ravishing. Though I prefer men with hair, Vin Diesel is one bald man I swoon over. A dimple, which is a facial defect, is alluring & so is the crooked tooth that gives some people their ‘cute’ smile. Beauty is truly in the beholder’s eyes. Beautiful people are sought after & desired. Now what makes them beautiful is your own prerogative. Enjoy!

55 thoughts on “Guest Post : "Beauty is Skin Deep" By Sujatha Sathya

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  1. I always admire a post which forces me to think beyond my beliefs!! 🙂 You have raised some serious points supporting a relationship that starts with appreciating the physical appearance. You have mentioned a point: “I believe in love at first sight.” That's where I differ, I dont believe in love at first sight. My belief: Love is a gradual process and it grows with age.

    Great post Sujatha, and you made me think!! 🙂

    Like

  2. I have a Salman Khan fan at home, so I totally understand this post, which is another way of saying I totally don't want to understand it. Very nicely written. Difficult to disagree, impossible to agree!!

    Like

  3. Admiring and getting admired for physical beauty is fine. But getting addicted to it and hoping to be physically beautiful (like a 16 year old girl) throughout one's life is very silly. That's exactly what beautiful people hope for. And that's why beauty is skin deep – It prevents us from thinking truthfully.

    Like

  4. @ Ashwini: I recently read an introduction of a guest blogger by another blogger..it was such a one which made me puke…especially after i read the whole guest post..wondered why there was sooo much build up in the intro…Let me tell u, you did a wonderful job in those start up lines..i loved it.. but i shouldn't be surprised since its coming from you 🙂 🙂 🙂

    @ SuJu: now I know this was probably the guest post you mentioned on love earlier this month 🙂 :).. and u r right we think alike… beauty is definitely as one sees it.. loved the post 🙂

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  5. Very nicely written .. I still beleive that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder .. whats beautiful for me might not be beauty for others . I will give you a personal example , I was in a relation and to me the girl was the most beautiful person in the world and Still is .. and maybe the same for her.. My friends and all thought otherwise and were curious why i found it that way ..

    but then same principle beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and its not always the eyes or the skin color its a lot of things involved ..

    Bikram's

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  6. @Binu: thanks Binu for your comment

    when i say love at 1st sight i'm referring to the first moment of attraction. what we do after we get attracted is a whole new story & that sure is a gradual process. indeed “love” grows with time & interaction. That's why i wrote “The attraction doesn't guarantee a long-lasting relationship but it sure is the starting point”. 🙂

    thanks again

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  7. @Abdul: 🙂 personal experience you see!!
    thank you

    @Subhorup: you know i messaged Ashwini on FB saying i totally loved what you wrote “difficult to agree,impossible to agree.” i was smiling so much at that line
    thanks 🙂 pls dont agree its ok with an example like Salman Khan i know where you are coming from or what you are getting at 🙂

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  8. @Subhorup: oops! typo – difficult to 'disagree'

    @Exciting Songs: yup, i agree – that sure is a crazy obsession – the want to be a 16 year old even at 60 thing – particularly if they are harming their bodies through surgeries/other procedures. their addiction to a perfect body can actually drive them to insane acts at times & they tend to move away from reality

    thank you so much for putting this in

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  9. @Sunita: hey nice to see you! i mean i thought you are already in India & would be away from the blog world for a while

    yes, to each his own – what he/she finds or doesn't find beautiful

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  10. @Bikram: thank you

    yes exactly. like i said in the last line, “what makes them beautiful is your own prerogative”.
    beauty surely lies in the beholder's eyes so if your friends don't see that it's upto them. what matters is you find her/she finds you beautiful. yes its a combination of things that makes somebody beautiful in our eyes

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  11. That's so true. I like the whole write-up. Why we don't have the courage to accept what is true? Grapes are sour is so lame these days.

    Beauty surely lies in the eyes of beholder but how you appreciate other person reflects your sense of confidence.

    On a lighter note; thanks to the two beauties for this wonderful post:)

    Like

  12. A very honest post Sujatha 🙂 I blv in attraction at first sight and as you said, what follows later decides if you actually fall in love with the person. If anyone says that external beauty does not affect him or her, then they are the biggest liars. A handsome stud is enough to quicken my pulse rate but sadly I have never taken matters further, and now it’s too late 🙂

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  13. @ Sukupedia
    I just wrote the way things are, If it is good, all credits to Sujatha 🙂

    @Saru
    Ha ha. There is nothing to thank me for. I should thank Sujatha

    @Sujatha
    I'm sorry, I was in a hurry to leave for office and couldn't even comment on this post.

    I agree with what you say. For the initial sparks to fly, physical attraction does play a role.And yes, in our society, people find it hard to compliment others with their heart and end up passing comments and throwing nasty glances at them.

    Like

  14. @Saru: wahi toh, appreciate karne mein hamara kya jaata hai! thanks Saru

    @Prasanna: heyyy what's the last line? sadly too late? haha Prasanna only holy/godly thoughts now for you – for the next few months – no naughty ones – hihihi
    thanks

    @Ashwini: hey chill. i know you've just joined your 1st job & the pressures of it. cool 🙂

    @Rahul: thank you & yes what's beautiful varies for each person

    Like

  15. Suju, I am surprised how one of your best post is not on your own blog 🙂 Anyhow, this is very impressive…

    I love women, and I love shapely, well maintained, well spoken women….and when I find them attractive, I go overboard complimenting….

    And they say, women can not handle pretty women :-/ My bestest is as pretty as Katrina Kaif…and that fact never came in between…

    I duly accept the fact that people want to be with beautiful women, and handsome men….

    Nailed it girl…I wish this post was on your blog 🙂 Too kind you are…

    Like

  16. @Chintan: true, it isn't easy being fit & toned, they really do sweat it out, so always wondered why we grudge them?

    and about the women can't handle pretty women thing…well at least we can – you & I :))

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  17. Sujatha: Appreciating something nice and beautiful is something in the eyes of the beholder.
    And if someone says “this is beautiful”, it is better to consider that as personal opinion. There are no definitions, no black and white for this concept.
    Loved this post. As usual, I like the flow of thoughts, as smooth as chocolate cream.

    Like

  18. That's the bare truth and so we need to accept it. And the term beauty is really absurd and relative. Hope some1 redefines it.
    Well I can say for sure: whichever way, skin deep or deep down till the pancreas, this post is adorable.

    Like

  19. I believe love at first sight. But I also believe in practicality. Just being in love is never enough. It's a gradual learning process 🙂

    Beauty is skin deep?!? Aare yaar, let's just face the hypocrites out there who flaunts everything physical about themselves, without brains. I'd rather have a brain 😀

    Kiran @ KiranTarun.com

    Like

  20. dissection of BEAUTY 😀
    awesome take on a much talked topic…. n its true that no matter how much u patronize “inner beauty”
    looks n features do count.
    n yeah u r right there r many ppl who look just WOW with their slight defects 🙂

    Like

  21. Going by the advertising (especially of creams) and the market share I would say thank God beauty is only skin deep :-).

    Concept of beauty is as difficult to define just as time in the hands for as per North Indians..being fair is considered beautiful while in East/South having great features..

    Great post..I believe in Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder (Ex: Ash-Abhishek or Kajol-Ajay ) and to each his own..I will continue to swoon over Shahrukh 🙂

    Like

  22. @Leo: haha thanks Leo
    btw, why define it at all? whatever/whoever you find beautiful that's beauty 🙂

    @Kiran: of course, cant do without the brain :))

    after the initial heady attraction, when the person opens his/her mouth, & you realize this is a brainless person, that is a huge turn off for sure 😀

    Like

  23. @Jyoti: isn't it? the defects somehow add to their overall charm. m glad you think so too 🙂

    @kirti: an SRK fan 🙂

    thanks Kirti for the comment, yes the examples you gave are perfect & true that down here in the south we do go for features more than the color.
    we call it “lakshana” in kannada which means person may not be fair but has lovely features

    Like

  24. The concept of being beautiful and brainy and having a balanced attitude, is what every one looks for in their partner. We may not be perfect but we always expect perfection in others 🙂

    Destination Infinity

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  25. Grapes are sour, if you cant have them! Gomathi(ex roomie) and I used to stare unashamedly at girls during our engineering days.. Well we are pretty much straight, but we could just not help admiring the pretty lot in our canteen :-))

    About the Lakshana stuff, yeps me being from manglore udupi, have got those comments from the grannies of our village..inspite of being dark :-))) and color doesnot matter if you are fit and dress well.

    and yes, I dont like women who are unfit, but wear tight unfitting clothes..Blindly following fashion and not checking what looks best on us, really works in a negavtive way…

    great post as always! and yes I am now following ashwini as well! :-))

    Like

  26. Nice one and I like the honesty of your presentation.

    I agree that beauty should not be a criteria to abuse or degrade someone.Things said like, beauty,brains and good nature doesn't go hand in hand shows narrow mindedness even if it is true in few cases.End of the day,being good looking is not a sin.

    On the other point I agree that physical attraction has a part to play in getting attracted to some one but then the extraneous beauty is not the only criteria in my understanding.I mean if I come across 10 beautiful girls I don't get attracted to all of them.Only few catches my imagination.

    Point is everyone can make my head turn and look at them for a while but not everyone leaves a lasting impression.I guess there is something more than the beauty and yes, definitely beauty is in the eye of beholder.We can not a common yardstick to measure beauty.

    At times I think on these lines and try to find what makes one to get attracted to someone.Is it beauty,inner beauty Bla! bal! This post provided some thoughts on that.Good one.Keep going. 🙂

    Like

  27. Written in a very simple tone but conveys a deep thought and makes one think! Beauty – inner or outer are 2 different entities and the presence of one does not mean the absence of other. I think if we just appreciate something without adding our own judgements and premonitions to it, life will be simple and happy. Very nicely written!

    Like

  28. It is true that when we see someone more attractive than us, we immediately start talking negative about them.. Although I do feel that character should be beautiful, it is but obvious that people get to know your character when they start to know you! Attractive people have it the easy way and I agree with you that we don't need to be jealous as the ones who are truly worth us will want us for what we are !

    Like

  29. But for me I started reading Ashwini blog first n through her I found versatile Sujatha who cut the ribbon of my blog. Since then I've been following Ashwini n Sujatha continuously n found both are great n wonderful… Contd

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  30. @Raj: Thank you so much Raj – you took the extra time to post your views in both the places.

    Yes, we hurry into slotting beautiful people as characterless/bad/ugly from inside. Agree, some may not be good at heart but there are many who are

    @M: “the ones who are truly worth us will want us for what we are!”

    perfectly said,at the end of the day, that's what matters.
    true, why talk negative about someone without even giving him a chance

    @Mithlash: oh is that so? you found me through Ashwini? nice to know that 🙂
    ribbon cutting – hahha
    aur yeh “Contd” kya hai ?

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  31. @Sujatha: iijji ijjii.. yaanla Hindu ne.. yena Mama deterr pudar. Aregah different different pudhar deeyere itanah.. yana sister na pudarla Raisa undu, Russian Czarina princess na pudar .. Inkleg churla layak appuji :-((

    PS: Writing in Tulu is tough, doing it for the first time!

    Like

  32. Contd means picture abhi baaki hai Sujatha ma'am:) Now something about post, I myself is admirer of beauty and always appreciate wherenever I come across and thats remind the new word which I learnt from Sujatha the great-Kannu thampu-Ankhon ka sukoon-the cooling effect of watching drop-dead gorgeous faces:) And you are right that every love story begins with eyes and same thing happened with me long ago ..Overall nicely written I enjoyed it. Keep writing:)

    Like

  33. A very well written article,but you have oversimplified it to envy…

    The problem with Beauty….
    We have allowed what we 'see' of a person to strongly influence what they 'feel' and 'Believe' about a person.

    Almost from birth we are judged,silently,unconsciously,and almost instantly on our looks.Right from Birth.Chubby fair 'good looking 'babies have more people willing to adopt them that dark ones.Looks influence a childs self image and becomes a significant factor in how teachers evaluate students.

    Looks permeate supposedly neutral arenas as courtrooms and elections.Juries,for example attach more credance to the arguments of a winsome attorney than a less enticing counterpart.

    Beauty has reshaped the media itself.Where television news reporters were once unremarkable in appeareance,now it is virtually impossibe to find an average person reading the news Fueled by ab explosion of media images of youth and beauty,millions of people have turned their waking lives into an endless quest for beauty.
    Women for example,have become so obsessed in the pursuit of a single dimension of Beauty – body weight that they willingly endanger their lives by denying their body essential nutrients.Cosmetic surgery-boob jobs,nose jobs,skin whitening etc

    Beauty defines our role models,what products we buy.Humans come in an astonishing variety of shapes and sizes,which leads the less physically attractive women to fret that no one will want her,and she is incapable of attracting a mate.Isnt that cruel?

    Even in Death,television news directors are far more likely to air the killing of an attractive victim than a plain looking one.

    Do read the article at the link
    http://www.ethicsscoreboard.com/list/xtreme.html

    Is this the kind of world we want to live in and bring our children into?

    Like

  34. @Arumugam: thank you Arumugam for your response. Beauty is commercialized is a fact. People go to great lengths to 'perfect' their bodies is also true. Fair is lovely is a social conditioning. How do we address this? Awareness & a change in mindset in the way we raise our kids.

    Having said that, fair is lovely is not a universal thing. Many parts of the world & some parts of India don't blindly subscribe to that at all. Europeans sun-bathe to get a tan which for them is more attractive.

    Whatever our definition of beauty is, i don't think we need to pull down beautiful people with moralistic jargon just to cover our jealousies.

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  35. The television,the magazines,the teen years of our life,all dictate what is beautiful and what isnt.And we dont think from our minds in our great teens,we sort of imprint the idea of beauty.It takes a strong minded person,to actually realise on one's own,that beauty will fade with time and what counts in the end,is the substance you're actually made of.My hsuabnd was told one too many times,why did he marry someone like me.Dark,ugly.It was pretty heart breaking initially,leikin mene sabke hosh thikane pe la diye,I was more brains ( in ym mind) than superficial beauty.

    Like

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