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My sister and I were very mischievous when we were kids. Being the younger of the two, people would take it for granted that I was the more notorious one ( which Swathi would repeatedly insist), without giving me a chance to explain. So I accepted things the way they were and just lived up to the expectations of others(being the notorious one, that is ).
My sister and I did the weirdest of things and however smart we were in pretending, Mom would invariably find out what we were up to in her absence and she would scold us. 90% of the times I never used to listen to her gyan. It so happened that, once when mom was in the middle of scolding us, I caught my sister’s eye and we both started laughing like idiots. Mom was in a fit of rage,but the next minute, to our surprise, she joined us in laughing. Funny how one second can completely change the way you feel.
I narrated the above instance just to show how quickly, within a fraction of a second, our thoughts and feelings change. One second we are extremely angry and another second we are laughing for no reason at all, despite being in the same situation. So after all, it is not an arduous task to control your temper, don’t you agree?
From what I gather, these are some ways by which you can keep your temper under control.
- There are people who are specifically born to irritate us and annoy us to intolerable levels. Next time they irritate you or annoy you, just think how lucky you are that you did not turn out like them. It is not your job to correct them and make them see sense. If God himself can’t do it, you can never do it.
- Ten sentences spoken with love and affection can work wonders rather than one sentence spoken with anger/hatred. If you want people to listen to you and understand you better, first articulate in a manner they can understand. No point blaming them for your ambiguous expressions in the first place.
- Do not rebuke others for each and every mistake. Even you would have made mistakes in the past. If it is for something trivial, you know its’s not worth spending so much of your energy for it. If it’s critical, you know the gravity of the situation and understand that shouting and criticizing would only make matters worse.
- Most of the problems occur because of the spur of the moment actions/reactions. If only we took a second to think about it, we would have saved us, the trouble of embarrassing ourselves by losing our temper and acting stupid in front of all.
- Treat others they way you would like to be treated. Think of the situation from the other person’s point of view. If you were in their place, would you like to be shouted at. they way you are shouting at the other person?
- Life should be dealt with properly. Know when to be serious and when to be cool. Come what may, always remain composed, think clearly and be a little patient enough to give your mind a chance to think, before your hand or tongue takes over.
Remember one thing.Raising your voice and losing your temper at the drop of a hat, just to prove a point wouldn’t make others think highly of you. Staying calm, curbing your temper and speaking in a gentle way with others, irrespective of the situation, is what would make you a Great, Inspiring person.
Very well said.It is by arduous practice only that one can control anger and the end result would be amazing as you have said.
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Nice one Ashwini… Just reading the incident mentioned at the beginning brought a smile to my face… :):):)
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Very well written… I think if you are calm, you feel better about yourself. It's all about discovering peace within…
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Excellent topic, Ashwini 🙂 We can't take back anything that we say, so it's always wise to take a breath, exhale and then decide how to respond. Those few moments could make all the difference in the world 🙂
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“Raising your voice and losing your temper at the drop of a hat, just to prove a point wouldn't make others think highly of you”.
ya thts very true, people think if they raise voice, they can make others feel weak.
A nice simple post!! 🙂
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totally agree with you .. few moments make all the difference…thx for sharing this 🙂 🙂
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@KP
Thank you Sir. 🙂
Yes, constant practice would definitely yield amazing results.
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@Swathi
Thank you 🙂
Memories of the days gone by 🙂
@Saru
Thank you 🙂
Yes, when we are calm we do not lose the ability to think clear, The same cannot be expected when we are angry or tensed.
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@Princess Fiona
Thank you 🙂
Yes, Words spoken in anger cannot be taken back. A few minutes of silence and patience would do wonders!
@Bharathi
Yea, people assume all kinds of things, don't they?
Thank you 🙂
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@Sunitha
Thank you 🙂
Yes, As I keep saying, it's always the small things in life that matters the most and a few seconds of patience would make such a huge difference.
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Those were words of profound wisdom and thanks for articulating so well! It is said that anger is also to be used as a weapon in extreme case to achieve a purpose and not to be wasted!
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A thought provoking post. It is never arduous to control your temper but the timing matters. Words/actions mentioned/done in a fit of anger, can rarely be undone.
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points taken mam 🙂
I have all of them to learn. but sometimes its good to speak up rather then jsut listen or ignore ..
and as you say patience is wonderful but i am a very impatient man..
I need things changed or done NOW.. in my life not after I am dead .. what use are they then ..
Bikram's
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enjoyed this sisterhood read with the mum stepping in(just wrote a poem on super-moms).Tips for controlling anger-very well stated,particularly the last line..Inspiring!
I agree,I have seen people standing absolutely numb and motionless,calm and composed even in when all tempers are flying around them and I wish to replicate that.
It seems strange to me that,their silence and composure speaks so much more than a thousand words bluttered in anguish and that too at high decibels.
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that's true, from one second to another the emotion can vacillate just like that
“even God can't change them” you know this is a really really practical tip you've given. when angry the next time,i am sure if we keep repeating this in our mind, that itself is enough to cool us down & actually pity the irritant 😀
useful tips
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Yes!! Been there, done that!! I need these lessons. I am calm 99% of the times, but things change in the remaining 1% 😀 Phew!! 🙂
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I'm going to print this post and put it up on my fridge. I lose my temper at the drop of a hat. Although I've cooled down considerably now, I'm far from normal.
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So very ture..!! especially the ten sentences part.. and most times.. people can think straight when they are angry.. so better to wait till the storm has passed!!
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BTW, I keep losing it.. I am so going to need these points!!! Nice one!
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Its an excellent topic and you've presented it so well Ashwini. I don't think I could have done justice to this topic… 🙂
Its true.., moments and mood can change in a fraction of second and a child-like mind can truly make it happen. When we grow up, the ego and self image will hide all of them and prevent us from going to a happy situation in a chaotic environment.
LOL on your first bullet point. “If God himself can't do it, you can never do it” hahahaaaaa
“Ten sentences spoken with love and affection can work wonders rather than one sentence spoken with anger/hatred.” – completely true… You can conquer the world with love and care!! 🙂
Cheers,
Anand.
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@Rahul
Thank you Sir 🙂
Yes, when people someone get angry for each and every thing, however trivial it is, people would never know it when something critical arises and respond in the same lethargic way. It should never be over used!
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@Krupa
Welcome to my Blog. Thanks for stopping by!
Thank you 🙂
It might seem difficult, but once we give it a try, we would realize it is not that big a deal. And once the words are spoken, there is no point repenting!
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@Bikram
Thank you 🙂
I don't wish to state that people should remain impassive. Certain things have to be said straight on the face, but they way in which they are said, matters a lot and that is what I'm trying to say here. Loud voice and harsh words wouldn't necessarily achieve one's objective.
And regarding now or never, yes I agree, there is no use in getting something after we are done with life, I'm talking about being active, not reckless. Just because we've to do something quick doesn't mean we need not bother about its accuracy. There is no point submitting your work with a 1000 errors, just because you have to submit it on time.
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@Rohit
Thank You 🙂
Yes, at these situations you mentioned, it is the Calm and composed nature and the ability to remain silent at the right time, instead of blowing one's top, is what matters the most. These people are the one's who can easily achieve what they want.
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@Sujatha
Yes. The mind is swifter than the wind.
And in such cases, where you know the other person would stick to their point, just for the sake of it, you know you've already won and there is no point arguing further.Even God can't save them, so why take trouble? They should be given a dose of their own medicine 🙂
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@Binu
As always, it's the small things in life that matter the most. I'm sure that, the 1% you were talking of, would have had a great impact on your life than the remaining 99% 🙂
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@Gayathri
Thank you 🙂 I'm honored.
All of us are normal, till we find ourselves in the company of irritating people, right? 🙂
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@Jenny
Thank you 🙂
Yes, It's always better to wait until the storm has passed. For the benefit of you, and those around you!
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@Anand
Oh. Thank you so much 🙂
Yes, Our minds are truly fascinating. The way in which the emotions keep swinging back and forth in seconds.
We might be a good Samaritan, but it is not our job to keep changing things which God himself gave up, right? 🙂
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Very well written:)Earlier I used to loose my temper at the drop of a hat but I gradually learnt this and today I recommend people to remain calm:)
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Very well written:)Earlier I used to loose my temper at the drop of a hat but I gradually learnt this and today I recommend people to remain calm:)
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omg everyone here has said what i wanted to say…good post yar..
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@Mithlash
Thank you 🙂
Good to hear that you've switched over 🙂
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Mature post Ashwini. Anger is the result of disappointed expectations. Every word is gold worth!
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Sahana. Long time. Great to see you back 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Yes, you've worded it so well ” Disappointed expectations”!
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wise words by you…at time we do start shouting in anger but start regretting once we calm down…..so its always better to control ourself…..but again its not that easy either…….
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wise post….every minute you are angry you loose 60 sec of happiness….
Cheers!
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@ Irfan
Thank you.
Yes, we realize the stupidity of our actions only after we've done them. And,I agree, it's not easy. It is possible though!
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Thank you SUB. Long time! Great to see you back.
Wonderfully said, we lose 60 seconds of happiness!
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agree..
these things sometimes does work…but sometimes very difficult to imply
I have often felt guilty after i hurt someone in anger..!
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Yes, I agree it is not as easy as how it's said, but still when we know that it would work out, no harm trying it, right?
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No matter how much I hate loosing my temper
No matter how true all of the points are and how much I try to follow the advice.
In the heat of the moment nothing can stop me from being an ass.
Why?
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