Who Am I?

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These days I have a lot of time for myself. This gives me a lot of time to think about things which I never really focus or give much importance. So all of a sudden, I was thinking about, People.
People, all around us, are all different. Everyone is as unique as everyone else. This is perhaps an advantage as well as a disadvantage. Advantage because, everyone is unique and you don’t find too many people who are similar. You have the opportunity to come across different kinds of people. Who wants to turn around and look at people who behave in a similar way? And, disadvantage too because you never know how to deal with all of them. I mean, it is not something you can generalize. There are no set rules you can follow because every person you come across is an exception, in a very different way.

If you just take a walk, you would find some people minding their own business, some would be selfless enough to sacrifice their time to listen to the stories of their neighbours. Some would be constantly  complaining about everything they set their eyes on, some would content with what they have and try to remain happy. As I had mentioned, everyone needs to be treated in a different way, depending on the situation, the state of mind the person is in, the place where you meet the person and the time. It just goes on and on, there are so many things which have to be taken into consideration.

Oh My God. It is so tough to be a Human being!!!

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All said and done, have you wondered what kind of a person you are? People might call you Friendly, outgoing and all that (in front of you, you would never know what they call you, and what stories they cook up behind your back. Ok, one at a time, let’s deal with who we are  now!) . We might have a certain opinion of ourselves but there is just no way we can find out if it is true. When we react to something, we are more concerned about our words and actions, and not how it would appear to a third person. I’m not trying to say that we react without bothering about those around us. Yes, we are conscious about how we present ourselves when others are watching us, and our mind is so bent on helping us, that it fails to perceive how we would appear to a third person; how we see ourselves from an entirely new angle.

Having been gifted with time, I was thinking about this, when I realized that, people might have an opinion about me, Even I have a certain opinion about me, but  how am I to check  what kind of a person I really am? How do I multitask in a scenario, where I have to react and look at myself from a third person’s perspective? So I made a note that next time I had to react to something, I would try and multitask and find out how it would appear for a third person and find out if my opinion of myself was true.

Walking back home, from the park, I saw a small kid. He smiled and I smiled back. Wow, I’m really outgoing.

As I continued walking, there was this small dog which was following me, or rather the Lays packet in my hand. I stopped and shooed it away. Oh god, I’m so mean!

There was some problem going on, and a crowd had gathered. I stopped for a second, looked at what was happening and continued on my way. There I am, minding my own business.

Just after I took a turn, I met a friend of mine and we started talking about things in random and about how so and so was trying to show off , and how someone else was irritating some other person. Oh God, I’m gossiping?

I then excused myself on the pretext of having some work and continued walking till I came across another crowd in the street. My pace automatically slowed down and I manually increased my pace, to keep it steady and decided I wouldn’t interfere with whatever was going on. I’m acting indifferent?

Finally a few steps away from home, I saw my 80 year old friend. He can’t hear what I speak but speaks as if he understands every word of mine. I really don’t know in what sense he speaks, but I reply more or less in the manner he would have probably meant. I am compassionate.

Just as I enter home, I see dad is just about to get down from his car to open the gate. I ask him to remain in his car and open the gate for him. I guess you could call it a “good deed”.

Finally I’m back home and I’m in my swing, wondering about what I observed in that 6 minute walk.
What I observed is, you cannot define a person in just one word. The same person who is Outgoing, is also mean at times, but is also a compassionate person. The same person, who yells at someone, is known to be really kind. Just as how each individual is different, it also goes without saying, that each individual reacts/behaves in a different way, at different points of time, depending on the situation, the place, the state of the mind, etc. It is practically impossible for someone to react to everything the same way (Remember, Emotions, feelings keep changing? ). When people generally define others in one word, they tend to tell that aspect which they would have witnessed more often. So in reality one is a quintessential mix of everything, a little bit of this and a little bit of that.  

So the point is, when we ourselves cannot come to a conclusion about the person we are, why do some of us let the opinion of others affect us? 

54 thoughts on “Who Am I?

Add yours

  1. Very well thought and well written Ashwini. Yes, humans are not constant and that's what makes us human. The mood swings in a jiffy, the smile outbursts outta no where, the grudge comes without our true sense in the situation and etc. & etc.

    Agree that one just can't generalize the character of a person. It all depends upon the situation.


  2. I wish , if every other person including me, do this introspective exercise everyday, our world would have been a wonderful place to live.. Good thought Ashwini.


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