Ask, and You Shall Receive!

When you need a favour, and you think others can help you in the process, never hesitate to ask.
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I’ve come across people who are so hesitant to open their mouth and ask others for help. Come on how do you expect someone to help you, if you decide to keep quiet? How would the other person be even remotely aware of what you need? Yes, I agree that not everyone would agree to help you as soon as you request them, but how would you know? How can you generalize that everyone would turn you down? I don’t see the logic behind this hesitant nature of some people.
When I had to travel to Ambattur(Chennai) for my training, I had to alight at Ambit IT Park, which is exactly between the regular bus stop and the terminus. Since there is also another IT park, a few minutes away from where I have to alight the bus, most of the buses make it a point to stop at Ambit. On very rare occasions, the conductors used to tell us that the driver wouldn’t stop at Ambit. On such rare occasions I would walk up to the driver and request him in a humble way saying “ Driver Anna, can you please stop the bus at Ambit, there are about 10 of us who have to get down”. Some of them readily oblige. A few of them fret and fume, but with another “Please Anna” they would stop. I would make it a point to thank them and leave.
Image Courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos
Once, I received a gift voucher from Westside. I conveniently forgot to look for the date at which the voucher’s validity expires. One Sunday, I decided to go for shopping and thought I could make good use of the voucher. After shopping for my heart’s content, I gave my card to the cashier and also informed him about the gift voucher and handed it over to him. He looked at it and said, “Sorry Ma’am the voucher’s validity has expired”. I refused to believe and I asked him the date of expiry. He said “Yesterday”. I was like, “Oh God. I forgot to look at the date carefully. Can you please check it with someone if I could use it today? Just one day, right Please?” He asked me to wait for a minute and went inside, spoke to someone. Another lady came out with him and said the voucher couldn’t be redeemed. I said “Ma’am it’s just a day, can you please do something about it”. They asked me for my membership card and checked a few details, made me wait for a few minutes, (which I did, with the most innocent look) and then they said “Ok, No problem we’ll use the voucher”.
I have been lucky at both the instances, plainly because I did not hesitate to ask. Both the driver and the cashier could have said No to me. I’m sure I would not have been unhappy then, because, I asked them. It is always better to ask and take No for an answer, than to refrain from asking and assume everything.
Even when I pray, after initially offering a word of Thanks, I ask God for everything that I can think of. Everything that I needed, need, will need, will probably need, might need, everything, to be on the safer side. There is absolutely nothing to lose, but everything to gain. In future, I wouldn’t want to stand empty handed and God telling me from above,” You did not tell me what you wanted!”. But yes, God does know what to give others, but then there are so many people here, and I don’t want to take any chances ,you see.
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Most of the times, people do not hesitate to help others, except under certain circumstances which can be 
understood. Let us leave those people who are not bothered to lend a helping hand to those in distress. So when there are so many good hearted souls who would come to help others, just like that, would it be fair on our part to stay quiet and expect others to come around and ask if we need anything? And if nobody turns up to ask, would saying “Nobody is helpful here, No one wants to help others here “, be fair?
So All that I’m saying is : Ask. Just Ask. Don’t hesitate. If they say Yes, well and good. If they say No, good, at least you can be happy you asked and you knew what their answer was, without leaving any room for suspense.
I hope you get it. 

59 thoughts on “Ask, and You Shall Receive!

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  1. If one doesn't want any help,it is alright if he keeps quiet.On the other hand if someone expects a help,he should be explicit about it and preferably ask directly instead of through someone else

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  2. If one doesn't want any help,it is alright if he keeps quiet.On the other hand if someone expects a help,he should be explicit about it and preferably ask directly instead of through someone else

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  3. Fully agreed! This is one of my biggest problems- I sometimes feel too shy to ask, sometimes I just don't want to ask because I feel they wouldn't help anyway, or because I'm worried about what they will think about me. Amma also would tell me the same thing- just open your mouth and ask! 😀 I am slowly trying to implement it.
    Nicely written, Ashwini 🙂

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  4. I think the failure to ask just reflects on our attitudes of being reluctant to leave our comfort zones even though we fully know that we might actually end up gaining something significant by doing it.

    Very comprehensively written this one, could relate to a lot of what you have put down.

    Cheers 🙂

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  5. well…well…well….all i can say that I am the one who is always hesitant when it comes for asking help…and the reason…??? well, i don't know exactly, may be its the fear of getting a big NO from the other end and its after effect….:))

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  6. I remember reading a post on the same lines, written by our Doctor 🙂

    A very thoughtful post, Ash 🙂

    Yes, the world is full of evil people. But, there are good-hearted souls too on Earth! That's what balances life. And these souls will definitely help us, when we ask.

    And I completely agree with the part where you pray to God and ask him everything-for the present as well as the future. That's what my Dad used to say: “Always pray to God and ask him all you want, else how will he know what your needs and wants are? If your prayers and efforts are genuine, you shall be rewarded!”

    And oh, I'm reminded of a quote (Which I told Dr.Ganesh too) from Harry Potter, which I keep repeating whenever I face a crisis in my life: “Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it”.

    Wonderful post and keep blogging, Ash 🙂

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  7. This reminds me of the great saying in Rhonda Byrne's famous book 'Secret' where she says when you ask something from god he responds by' your wish is my command' and tries to fulfill it be it something good or otherwise! So always ask for for a nice wish:) Very positive, post Ashwini:)

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  8. Totally Ashwini. Different topic but well very stated examples. Noone should be ashamed of askinf for help. After all nothing should be left to what if at all. Good one!

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  9. Well said Ashwini, most of the people usually feel hesitant to take favour from other assuming that other will turn down and would not help them. And Shy nature people comes into this category. If I talk about me I was in the same boat where I used to feel hesitant to take favour from other and when I observed , by this attitude I am loosing more than getting. Then I started altering my attitude. So today I can not say I am totally change but most of the time I do not feel hesitant to take help from other.

    Well nicely potrayed everyting.I can relate to this post…
    Keep writing:)

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  10. The first thing that my manager taught me when i got a job here in uk was to ASK.. he said the worst that can happen is you might get a NO.. thats it ..but so what .. ASK and you may also get a yes.. and life will be easier that way ..

    I have found that a big big bigggggggggg problem with some of our staff in india bangalore office, You tell them something and they say oh yes yes we know, but if they hit a hurdle they dont ask as they think it looks bad .. and that when things go wrong.. If I dont know anything I simply go and ask the person who does know ..

    I have no issues in asking for help if i need one
    Bikram's

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  11. Nice one and especially the situation you used to explain “ask” is awesome. Most of the people also ask at wrong situation, where the work can be done by oneself. They ask due to their laziness. The explanation for ask is true and nice.

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  12. All the favours that we get done are thanks to all those little actions of help that we offer others knowingly or unknowingly! At the end all the pluses and minuses even out – perhaps this is what Chitraguptan does in his book of accounts 🙂

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  13. You are right and you are so like Alok. We should atleast try. You will be glad to know that whenever we shopped for furniture or electronics in big outlets, we ask the Manager for extra discount and we always get it. I think your readers should learn what you are trying to imbibe in us. Thank you for this one.

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  14. This also applies in case of facing problems or depression. Often, in case of depression people do not open up and land in deep trouble. They need to speak up and should not hesitate to seek help as you have rightly pointed out.

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  15. Very noble thought and noble intentions Ash. Yes, when we are in need of help, there's nothing wrong in asking people whom you think will help you, mostly your family or your close friends and they will be more than happy to help you. 🙂

    But with the two examples you have mentioned, I felt like you didn't actually needed help, especially the second example, the voucher one. Please don't get me wrong but I felt that you got what you wanted due to your good communication skills, convincing the bus driver to stop at your bus stop or getting them to cash-in your voucher even after it was expired. (There's nothing wrong in it of course, but I felt you didn't require help on both occasions and you could've found a different way out in either situations).

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  16. A very valid point. Comfort zones, we find it so difficult to step out of it, fully aware that stepping out would only make our life easier.

    Thank for your your wonderful comment.
    Cheers 🙂

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  17. well Irfan ji, you said it… The worst is you could get a No. That's it.. You might try to think of working it out yourself after someone says No to you, or if you are that desperate , there will always be a soul who would come to your aid, once he comes to know that you need help.
    Thank you for coming by 🙂

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  18. Thank you so much Soumya 🙂 Felt so happy just reading your comment, thank you 🙂 . Well just as you said, I believe that the world is full of wonderful people and there are people with other motives too. But we can never know about another person unless we talk to the, and spend time with them. So no harm trying and asking others.

    Your dad is absolutely right. I completly agree with him. Thank you 🙂

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  19. what a Surprise. Look who is back 🙂
    Welcome back Sub. 🙂
    Yes, if you are so hesitant to ask, don't expect others to help. Well said. Thank you for dropping by!

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  20. You know somethig Sir? This is exaxtly what my mom told me… Or rather warned me about. She sais God listens to every word of what you say and what you think, so speak well and think good at any time. Right from my childhood I grew up in fear , wondering what would happen If I speak somethig wrong and God accidently curses me. Today I realize how I have benefitted from it..
    Another thought , I read about it somewhere. One person asks god, why should I pray for somethig , when everything happens the way you've written our fate? God says, at certain points o your life, I would have written ' as you wish' . I never forget this. It is somethig so close to heart 🙂

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  21. thank you..exactly my sentiments Bikram. You might get a No,, but you might get a Yes too.
    I completely agree with what you have said. Its frustrating to see people act as if they are aware of everything and mess it all..I've xome across situations you have mentioned.

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  22. Thank you Saru. Yes, there is no harm asking others and getting it clarified, than keeping quiet and assuming everything and finally regretting not asking others. Nothing to lose, but Eveything to gain!

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  23. Thank you for bringing about this. Often when people get depressed, they tend to shut down their modes of communication, thinking that staying aloof would make everything normal. It?s only when we share it with someone and talk it out, that we would feel better, and even get ideas on how to tackle the problem. Wonderful point there, thank you Sir.

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  24. hi Akshay . Thank you for your comment and expressing your opinion. 🙂
    Well, I just wanted to convey that. It is better to ask others instead of just sitting mum. What I wanted to say was, if I had kept quiet after the conductor had said the bus wouldn't stop, I could have just stayed quiet and taken that extra walk. I took a chance and asked the driver if he could stop and I really don't know why he did, but at least I got to ask him and it worked out to my advantage.

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  25. This is really a very important lesson . I have come across many of my friends who hesitate to ask for help during many a circumstances and end compromising with smaller projects. Indeed we have to ask for help and support because we cannot expect others to have the magical prediction thing to predict our needs,, we ought to make them know that we need their support.

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  26. So Good- so true, and best of all – its so EASY. We unnecessarily complicate things, but not voicing ourselves.
    Banged in this post, at the right time i guess. Just participates in a writing contest, where results depend on votes
    Now i am going to request ppl to vote if they like my post. Thanks for this simple funda sharing.

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  27. I read this post yesterday and didn't leave a comment as I was in a hurry. Unfortunately, I didn't save as bookmark and couldn't find your page. After some research, I get it and am your follower now..:) Well, let me tell you why I wanted to comment before you get bored.
    My bank has charged my account with all sorts of fines. I called them yesterday to see if they would waive it and they didn't. As such I was fuming with anger and blasted on the customer service guy and hung up the phone yelling that I would close my account with them.
    I told I read this last night right? So, without losing hope (your post being one of the motivation), I called them up today morning with a rather sweet voice( and an anger filled face)trying to sound as troubled as I can be, and guess what? they waived 2 fees that they charged. Need to go to the bank now and make another innocent face to take care of the charges. Wish me good luck…:)
    btw, I am a person who would ask for any help without hesitation and would go out of my way to help if someone is in need. Looks like a story than a comment..sorry.:)

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  28. You are right Ashwini .One should not hesitate to ask for something, the other may be in a position to give. Most of us are hesitant and hence losers.

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