The Art of Speaking!

If someone remarked that I was very talkative, I would take it as a compliment.

If you are under the opinion that I have clearly misunderstood what the word compliment means, let me take the liberty to explain why I consider it so.

Silence is Golden, but only at the right time. Today, if we need to make our presence felt and leave a mark, we need to speak up without yielding in to our inhibitions. If we desire to be successful, we need to open up and speak. We might be wrong, but we would know it for sure, rather than keeping it to ourselves and being in state of dilemma. If we do not make use of the chance given to us, someone else would snatch it from us and walk away. And this feat cannot be achieved overnight. It takes years and years of training and hard work!

Now it is a common fact that Women speak a lot more than Men. Some say that it is hardwired in the DNA of the X chromosomes. Some say that it is because women have to repeat everything they tell men, given the latter’s innate and remarkable ability to not listen to what is being said, even if the other person shouts at the top of their voice, standing right next them. And no, I am not in any way generalizing, just sharing some information that I came across.

True to being a woman, speaking (I am talking of casual conversation alone) comes even more naturally to me. My grandparents and parents are very outgoing and social, so it is not a big surprise. I can strike a conversation with anyone I come across. Now I’m not trying to sound intelligent, It’s not that I can talk about anything, It’s just that I can steer a conversation to my comfort zone, irrespective of which unknown territory it is headed to. Now the point is, some people feel that I sometimes go overboard and talk a lot. To make things clear, let’s say that for a 2 mark answer, I would end up speaking for 16 marks (Anna University habits die hard!).

I still wonder how I could possibly talk so much with people whom I’m very comfortable with. That still remains an enigma. But with strangers I talk very consciously and maintain the normal word limit. I know what I’m talking and I know I don’t bore people with statistics and unwanted facts, but I often wonder how I get all these things in my head and how it comes out in the form of words. The length of my posts, should give you a vague idea, I’m sure.

But there are many advantages of being a good (yes, I prefer to call it good) Speaker, you know. In a family gathering, when I start talking, everyone is glued in to what I speak and seem to thoroughly enjoy themselves (though I have a fairly good idea of who listens and who pretends to listen). I do have the reputation of being a very lively person, a non-stop speaker and a complete entertainer. All this, despite coming from a family where everyone is born a natural speaker. That is quite an achievement.

The Biggest compliment is however from my beloved mother. During our trip to Singapore in June 2011, we were done with the Immigration and Security Check at the Chennai Airport and we had more than an hour to kill. We got talking, or rather I started talking and mom was listening, giving her inputs every now and then, and after what seemed like a few minutes we heard the announcement asking us to board our flight. We checked the time and realized that we had been talking without even noticing the time. That’s when my mother chipped in,

“You know Ash, when you start talking, I get so involved that time just seems to fly. People would never get bored talking with you”. You can imagine how overjoyed I was, by that compliment 🙂

I’ll leave you with a small incident.

15bda-talkywomen

Image Courtesy: Google Images 

During my CAT classes we used to have sessions to improve or communication skills. In one such session, regarding casual conversations, our trainer narrated a small incident which had taken place during one of his sessions. He had asked everyone to tell the occupation and nature of work of their parents. The first person to speak was a girl, whose words were something like this

Girl: “My Dad works is ABC Company. He was initially in the accounts department, but after having worked well for 5 years, the management decided to promote him and now he is working in the Sales. It has been more than 3 years now since my dad moved over to sales, you should listen to the stories my dad tells …..”

My Trainer: “Sorry for the interruption. so what exactly is your dad doing ?”

Girl: “He is a Sales Manager.”

My trainer: “So, your mother?”

Girl: “She was working with XYZ bank after her studies and she had to quit her job after marriage since she had to move in to another city with my dad. She was on the lookout for another job, but after I was born, she decided to abandon the search for a job.”

Trainer (not feeling sorry for interrupting); “So now she is?”

Girl: “She is a Home maker.”

My trainer then asked the next person to speak up.

Guy: “Father Banker. Mother School Teacher.”

Trainer: “That’s it?”

Guy: “Pretty much. Yes.”

After laughing for almost ten minutes, and after having calmed down, my trainer had this one word of advice ” Ladies, please reduce the amount of information you are giving out, Guys, a little more words, would do no harm.”

Sound advice, I’m sure 🙂

37 thoughts on “The Art of Speaking!

  1. Same Pinch….Hi5?….i do have this same habit of cluing into what people are saying…and that helps in talking to them….to talk to others you first have to listen is my mantra…

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  2. Talking to people who know a lot is such a pleasure but my own experience is that those who know a lot seldom talk much:) A good conversation just for fun is always looked forward to:)

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  3. Being a delight to talk to is a virtue .great to know that u have it in u. There are souls who can bore u to death too . They. Better stick on to 'silence is golden'. What do u say ? 🙂

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  4. Talking Talking and talking this is one thing I cannot live without 😀 I have sometimes experimented that I can hold breathe for some record time but not stop talking 😀 lol such creature I am. You have very well written about it and I agree with all the points you have mentioned above 😀

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  5. hahaha. Nice one that incident Ashwini 🙂 Really girls have this thing to go on and on right. And guys, really how irritating it is, when they choose to answer a big long question, with just a 'hmm'!!! The key is to take the middle path. talk but not to irritate the other, but as you mother felt, nice and good and didnot realise how time passed.

    Nice fun post.

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  6. very nice post.. 🙂 🙂 I soo agree with you on this one.. I was about to write about this in my blog.. I have it almost ready..
    Glad to see that there are people who agree on this.. 🙂 🙂

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  7. heheh…I talk a lot too. But I am not sure if I am an attractive speaker like you. And telling the males, don't tell me. I keep yelling the shopping lists to him 100 times, yet he goes to the store and again ask me, what is that you wanted? grrr…:)

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  8. Yes Sir. People who are really intelligent would not make noise like empty vessels, but I am not referring to the intellectual part here. Just casual, random every day conversations.

    Thank you 🙂

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  9. Yes Jayashree, I would rather keep quiet than be known as someone whose talks are boring! I completely agree 🙂 but when we have someone whom we would love to talk to, why not make the best use of it? 🙂

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  10. Nice to see that there are many people like me 😉
    And Believe me Ramya, my mother used to tell me the same thing. She would ask me to breathe first and then speak with a little break in between.

    Glad to know you liked it 🙂

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  11. I know. Girls can just go on and on 🙂 And these guys know how to irritate us with just a 'Hmm..” “ok..” kind of replies when we expect an answer from them.

    Of course, it is advisable to be safer and balance our words and the rate at which we speak 🙂

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  12. Spot on Ashwini! You know what, we Christians have a marriage counselling before getting married. Our speaker adviced guys to learn to listen and be patient when your wife speaks and girls to know and understand when your husband is getting tired of hearing you speak and try to conclude it.. 😀

    Congrats on the Tangy Tuesday pick.. 🙂

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  13. Hey thats great!!! Even I am hailed as a chatterbox by everyone!!! I am really proud of it actually instead of feeling for it!! I find talking a passionate thing 🙂 I am happy you else pointed out this!! Great work!!!

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  14. So true! I have a problem to talking too much as well. As much as it is fun to yap, you are right in pointing out that sometimes we reveal too much. Is it any surprise that we blog? :). Thoroughly enjoyed the post!

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  15. Please accept my compliments for 'talking ' so nicely on this post. A talkative person may at times get on your nerves, but a 'dumb ' person is always a big bore. But then both extremes may not be good. I am reminded of a one-act Play “The Dumb Wife of Cheapside”, in which a loving and doting husband does every thing possible in the world to restore voice to his dumb wife. Once the wife gets her voice , she turns into a veritable chatterbox, and the husband now fed up with her garrulity, gets his ears filled with a potion and becomes deaf by choice ! Isn't it ironical !

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  16. This post seemed to be speaking to me. I am not a talker, more of a listener.. actually i speak only with people I am comfortable with else 'silence is golden' works for me 😉 Its so nice that you are such an eloquent speaker, I really envy people like you 🙂

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  17. Well, You belong to the Category of people who are normal . The rest, like me, belong to the talkative category ;-), We should learn when to shut out mouths and when to speak. 🙂

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  18. I'd take it as a compliment too. Except that I'm not talkative. I'm not afraid of opening conversations with strangers, but I just generally spend more time reflecting in my head than actually communicating with everyone around me.

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  19. I was never so talkative, but after being married to one of the intellectual ones, to whom one would have to give some fees to utter a few words, I found myself automatically very talkative.
    Like you, I too do not venture into fields I am not familiar with, and I can easily pick up a conversation with unknown people who later become good friends.
    Recently one of closes friends of many years remarked, that it was very difficult to keep the conversation going with my husband, who had gone to meet them alone during one of business trips. She said, they realized how much I contributed to the conversation when we were together, not making them realize what a non talker my husband was.
    They said he would willingly answer any question put to him, but after answering he was quite happy to remain quiet.
    Even when we travel by car long distance we hardly speak, we are happy in our own world of thoughts, in some ways I don't mind his not talking too, and both of us are at peace with each other.
    We are two different people but still we make good bedfellows, though to tell the truth I have changed but he has remained the same, maybe a very slight change. And also I do believe some times silence is golden.

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