When You Don’t Know how You Feel!

Sometimes everything feels right. Sometimes everything feels wrong. Sometimes you have no clue at all!

There are times when we are happy (and we know it). The world seems a wonderful place. We smile all day long and given a chance we would start singing and dancing and feel like flying in the air. We are at peace with ourselves and the heart feels light.

And there are times when we are sad (and we know it). Suddenly it might look like the whole world is conspiring against us. We start reading a lot into everyday occurrences and relate totally unrelated scenarios and complicate things and keep worrying. Phew.

Now comes the best(or worst) part. There are times when we have absolutely no clue as to why we feel some particular way.

Yesterday, I felt irritated. I was actually not irritated. I was casually speaking with people and going about doing my work. But at the back of my mind, for no apparent reason whatsoever, I felt very irritated. I started imagining the worst possible scenarios and I kept worrying how I would face and overcome the situation. And then some voice in my head told me I was a fool and asked me to be happy that my life was far from what I was imagining. And then I started enjoying the song I was listening to, and then my mind drifted over to the worst-case scenarios and again the same thing happened. I hope you get the drift.

A friend asked me why I was restless and why I did not smile at the person who gave us coffee. (The coffee Anna at work is my friend, coz he gives me extra strong coffee on request). I realized there was no proper reason because I still hadn’t figured out what was troubling me. So we decided to analyse what happened through the day (also because we had to wait for 10 minutes to get our Stuffed Parathas which we had ordered) and we couldn’t come to a conclusion. Five minutes later, a Paratha and a cup of strong filter coffee later, we’d forgotten about what we had been speaking and we were laughing at something else.

After a while, the friend wanted to check if I was fine and called me up. Only then it struck me that I was restless about something and surprised how a small diversion in the form of food (I’m a foodie you see) had totally calmed my overacting nerves and got me back to my normal mood.

I thought perhaps I was lucky because I did not know what was bothering me, so it was easy to get over it in a matter of a few minutes. But those few minutes nearly drove me mad.

Ah, these mood swings are so aptly named.

Am I the only weirdo around, or does this happen to you too?

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