I am a true Aquarian. I am very rebellious in nature.  I know that sometimes I make life difficult for those around me but sometimes I cannot help it. I think this another trait of us Aquarians – ‘Being Independent’ is the reason behind this one too.

Let me explain.

Let’s assume that there are apples and oranges in the table. On a particular day I’m in the mood to eat apples. So when my mom asks me if I want apples or oranges, I tell her my choice and go for the apples. Sometimes she says ‘You know, these oranges, taste much better than they normally do. If you want, you can try that. Your wish’. When mom tells me this way, I know she is just offering an opinion and I also know that she is not forcing me. So I reconsider my decision and opt for the oranges. Simple right? No, it actually isn’t. 

Now when I’m in the mood to eat apples and someone else in the family (Not my mother, because she knows how to deal with me) tells me to eat apples because of many reasons and start listing them down, I get slightly irritated. Normally I don’t give it too much of a thought. But when they keep stressing on the importance of something, to the point where they force me to do something which they want to, I DO NOT oblige. There have been many instances, where in such scenarios I had opted for the oranges (though it was not my choice) instead of the apples, because I did not want to do what someone was telling me to (for something as simple as choosing between fruits). 

So the extent to which I am rebellious, depends on the situation and the person who is trying to influence my thoughts. When they offer it as an opinion, I gladly take it. But when I see warning signs of them trying to force something on me, I don’t yield.

I guess this is how I was. I guess this is how I still am (sometimes). I should say, I have mastered the art of listening to somebody and getting involved in a conversation and throwing it from my mind the second I stop talking to them, without giving them the slightest idea that I was disinterested in what they were speaking.  Though I’ve learnt to hide my reaction, the thoughts still remain rebellious.

So there was this time, when I was asking somebody an opinion about something (which I later regretted and felt Google would have given a much better option) and she was giving me their views on what they felt was the best among the choices that I had given. I also felt that she was trying her best to coax me to go with her option and not even think of the other options. I felt a little suffocated. It so happened that I ended up choosing something else, but the matter was closed. At another event, the same person came up to me and enquired about the conversations that happened during the last meeting and asked what I choose. No wait, she said ‘You choose, what I told you to, right?’

I told her I had chosen something else and I could see that she was taken aback. She asked me why, I did not feel like discussing about it in detail so I gave her a vague reply. She kept repeating what she said, and to stop her I had to be a little curt so that the conversation could end. A few minutes later, I had a conversation with myself.

‘Ash, you were a little rude to her’

‘I know!’

‘You could have told her a little politely about your choice?’

‘I tried, but she was jumping on me as if I had committed a blunder’

‘Probably she was upset that you did not choose what she asked you to.’

‘May be. I asked her for an opinion. I did not ask her to make a decision for me.’ 

‘May be she thought you were asking her to decide.’

‘That’s not my problem. That is her problem.’

 ‘Hmm…’

‘And she was trying to force her opinion on me and trying to tell that my choice was wrong’

‘So would you have gone for her option, had she not tried to force you?’

‘Oh probably, yes!’

And this, ladies and gentlemen is the story of my life. I would rather do something half-heartedly, rather than being forced by someone else to do the ‘right’ thing, according to them!

Because it is my life and I want to do what I feel is right! 

What would you do? 

PS : I should add, this post is only about certain trivial personal choices for which we normally shouldn’t spend a lot of time worrying.

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