A few days back I had to interact with someone for some work that I had volunteered for. As luck would have it, we did not exactly get along well and both of us were clearly annoyed by what each had to say. I tried not to take it personally, but beyond a point it was getting over me. I kept myself in check because my priority was to get my work done and a many were dependent on me for this.
During one of our conversations (read arguments), the other person who couldn’t tolerate my incessant questioning, tried to scare me (I guess that was his intention) by saying that he had the power to escalate the issue to some senior and left the sentence hanging abruptly. I gave a relaxed ‘So, what do you want me to do?’ reply. He repeated his words and waited for me to react. He had carefully told me that he had the power to do it and he did not say that he was actually going to escalate the issue. I calmly asked him to go ahead and told him that I wasn’t going to be threatened by that. I also added that it might give me a chance to take it up with the seniors too and give them the complete picture as to what was happening.
Somehow after this conversation we finished our work quickly, provided the required updates to those concerned and left. When I was getting back home, I found it funny why someone would use such a lame excuse to frighten someone. Teachers used this technique on us when we were kids at school and some people think they can get away with it even now. If we are at fault, it makes sense to be scared when someone says they would escalate, but having done nothing wrong why others would expect us to be scared when they say ‘escalation’. (Obviously the Wildcard did not work out for the person with whom I was interacting with).
In the past threats were used to instill a sense of fear in the other person to achieve some purpose. These days, I’m sure it backfires a lot, because people aren’t the ones who shut up and blindly obey what others have to say. They question and feel the need to get things clarified before blindly obeying instructions. And no, that is not being rebellious. If someone asks me to do something, I would. But if they try to use some empty threats I would definitely not. I’m sure a lot of people in my generation would be able to relate to it when I say that these empty threats are extremely annoying, so much so that I’d rather not work just to let the other person know that I’m not ‘threatened’.
Later that day, on introspection, I realized that I’m not frightened by people/authority for two reasons:
1. I know them.
2. I don’t know them.
It’s as simple as that!
For some reason, not many have tried this threatening technique with me. Even in school. Bizarre indeed 😛
Destination Infinity
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Some people have a penchant for behaving in this manner…they think by threatening others in such a trivial manner, they actually get an edge over them….
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By and large if one is efficient and good at work,such threats would not affect.But in organisations,where the immediate boss's words prevail over that of subordinate when matter escalates to senior boss,these threats do scare a little but surely not to do anything unreasonable or wrong.Between peers however such threats are futile..
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Very interesting. I have come across such incidents. I remember one such story. A guy asks for promotion. The manager says “no”. The employee says “If I do not get the promotion, I am afraid I have to do what I did with my previous employer. The manager blinked. The employee got the promotion.
Next year, there was a new manager. Same story. This time the new manager asked “what you did with the previous employer”. The employee said “I went back to my cubicle and continued with my job and I did not ask for promotion from then onwards”.
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Rightly reasoned Ashwini .. in fact even teachers who use this 'technique' frequently are wrong and lacking something in themselves somewhere .
As they say confidence and talent are silent, insecurities are loud and threatening !
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Sometimes these threats may derail also someone's career but that shouldnt be a reason to be scares..one must do what is right and leave it at that..
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Stay with the truth and nothing can harm you. Never give in to empty threats.
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hahahha!
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you are right, such techniques are used in schools often 😛
I cannot stand pple are are always in a an 'argument mode' and such pple often use hollow threats and all to scare the other person, I find them immature and somewhat silly. The end para is awesome!
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I have seen such people too. and this technique reminds me of my school n tuition days.. interesting post, Ashwini.
A Rat's Nibble
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You should consider yourself lucky 🙂
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It depends on the person whom they're trying to pull it off. Some people get scared/anxious for no reason. So these people think everyone can be manipulated that way!
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Yes, it might not affect once in a while, but when people use it every time to get work done, can it be attributed to their poor people skills?
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Haha! I didnt realize it works the other way too SG. But this doesnt seem like a threat though 😉
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True. I personally feel its very wrong to use such tactics. What I see here is just Insecurity.
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That's how we should be. We should ignore them. Well said. Just that sometimes it is difficult to concentrate on our work when all these words keep floating around.
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Yes 🙂 Staying strong is easier with practice!
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Thank you Ankita 🙂
Sometimes when it's not for getting work done, I feel it's just got to do with an individuals's insecurity.
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Thank you 🙂
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And of course, practice takes a lot of effort, but it is worth it.
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