People. We are a strange bunch I tell you!
There are so many kinds of them. For this post, I am going to consider two categories: those who are secure of themselves and those who are insecure. The secure ones are happy. They know what they want from life and are not easily influenced by others. The insecure ones are a nightmare to be around. They might be extremely talented, but they get insecure when they meet someone who might be just 10% of what they are. They always feel threatened and need a constant source of approval from others. They aren’t confident about themselves.
Let me give you a very common scenario. There is a Manager, a Lead and a Team member. Let’s say that the lead is very talented and has a sense of insecurity. The team member happens to be good at something and gets an appreciation from the manager or someone even senior. What happens now? The lead gets annoyed and threatened. The leads starts imagining situations in which the lead will no longer be required. To vent the frustration, the lead brands the team member as someone with an ‘Attitude Problem’.
What could have ended with a simple compliment, is unnecessarily blown out of proportion and someone is targeted personally for something in the professional environment.
When people can’t handle someone, they either walk away from the person or try to put them down. The latter trend is far more widespread. Such people want to do good, and at the same time they want to ensure that they are (in comparison) better off than their peers. So what do we do in such a situation – Back down or Step ahead?
(This wonderful cake was given to me on my last day in a team. This was organized by my mentor, all the way from Delhi who got in touch with a few people in Chennai to get this done. This is the same person who sent the quote referred to in post. Am I not lucky to be blessed with such a wonderful mentor?)
When I was in one such similar situation, my mentor sent me this quote. She asked me not be bothered when others feel threatened. People always have something to say no matter what. That’s their problem. We have a life, we have a plan and we are set. Unless it affects someone obviously, there is no reason for us to back down or feel guilty and change our plans because a bunch of insecure and senseless Twits couldn’t find a better way to handle us.
Over time I realized that it’s just their defense mechanism. I came across this long back – Someone gets an award and one of his peers, burning with jealousy, remarks on a completely unrelated note – trying to divert the attention to some negative aspect of the person. This is the least such people can do and we don’t need to stoop down to their levels and respond. Another quote strikes my mind when I think of this situation, ‘You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.’
So next time you come across such people, just ask them to stay away from you if they can’t handle you. You know who you are and you know who they are, so just move on 🙂
Image Courtesy : Google
A good message Ashwini but it gets more difficult if the insecure person is your manager or has a position of authority.
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Excellent quote. I was about to write something. But Somali wrote the same thing a few minutes ago.
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How wonderful that your mentor took the time and effort to send you that cake and the quote!!
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love the quote and the message 🙂
cheers, Archana – http://www.drishti.co
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Self belief , that is what brings in self confident and absence of fear . The pusillanimous are the ones who lack self belief but often are conceited.That adds to the woes.
You have narrated the point well
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Lovely cake. I feel, it is because of these insecure people in higher positions that people leave organizations.
Destination Infinity
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Very inspiring post Ashwini.. I happened to read this post after a very bad day at work due to similar circumstances as you mentioned . Thank you 🙂
Especially the last quote ..'You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.’.
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A nice post Ashwini and you certainly had a wonderful manager ! Both quotes are great but the first appealed a bit more to me 🙂 Thanks for the share 🙂
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People with positive attitude always find someone who know their true worth, though at times it may appear that the crooks get the best in short run:)
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True that. I've never encountered such foolish people, but you never know!
Positivity in life always helps, no matter where we finally end up.
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Thank you Somali. I agree with that, either way a direct confrontation is the only solution, I see.
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I said that from experience :-). When I was in that situation, I almost confronted the person and the person try to act as if nothing was wrong. I left it at that because I did not want to make the situation even more awkward. I just wanted the person to know that I wouldn't sit still when such things were going around, and I'm pretty sure the message went across. But yea this is entirely subjective and it gets difficult to handle certain people.
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I know! A person of her role hardly gets time to say bye and here she was sending this quote and getting things done from miles away :-). I'm lucky.
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Thanks 🙂
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Thanks Anil. Confidence is severely under-rated today. For anything and everything without that confidence, in ourselves and in what we do, it is extremely difficult to survive where people play mind tricks.
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Very true. There is a famous saying right, People don't leave organizations, they leave bad managers. I completely agree with that.
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Thank you 🙂
Sorry that you had to go through something similar. Wish you all the strength to tackle it and come out smiling. And yes remember that we are here on a mission, if people want to have an opinion, let them. BUt dont not allow it to affect you.
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Thank you Kokila 🙂 Glad you enjoyed reading this!
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Very true. That's when we learn the importance of being patient and maintaining a good attitude while being patient 🙂
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Yes, we've nothing to lose but everything to gain when we start making it a habit. Positive thinking does go a long way and it has wonderful impacts which might not be obvious to us.
Lucky you, really hope you dont have to come across such people at all.
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Positive thinking creates a positive field eliciting positive reactions!
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True – you see this kind of behaviour even more clearly among kids. However, I always feel a little bit sorry for people with insecurities.
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I find it very difficult to be around insecure people. The problem is with them and their attitude and they give you a hard time because of that. If it is not a close person then I walk away. If not, it is a real problem. Loved the quote.
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Yes. It all starts with a simple positive thought.
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I would sympathize with them if they weren't busy plotting a plan to bring me down instead of going up themselves.
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Well said Rachna. I hate putting up with their attitude, when they are pessimistic and try spread that negative mood all around.
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You are fortunate to have a manager like her! Wonderful message there…she has supported you when you are in need of that… 🙂
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I've been blessed 🙂
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