A few days back, I overheard a group of girls talking about one particular girl. The news was that the girl being spoken about hated flowers. She hated the smell and sight of flowers. Initially they thought it was one of those things which people normally do to get attention, but then they realized it made her very uncomfortable. Curious to know why she was affected by something as wonderful as flowers known for its visual appeal and aroma, one of the girls approached her and asked her the reason. This is what she had said,
‘I remember the day our house was full of flowers, that was the last day my Mother was home.’
Ram hated bright open spaces. He always preferred to occupy a dark corner wherever he went, if at all he went. He ensured his room was always dark, with just enough light for him to wander around without tripping over anything. Over time, he became a recluse and almost cut-off communication with others. He liked spending time by himself, staring from the balcony of his dark room.
He looked at his wheelchair and the prosthetic legs and wondered how different life would have been had he not met with an accident. If only the light from the Lorry had not blinded him that fateful night.
All of us have our own battles to fight almost every single day. Of course, we are all human beings and its only natural that our lives are full of ups and down. Yet sometimes we forget that others around us, have their own battles to fight and we end up with assumptions and biased opinions even without knowing the big picture. We resort to generalizations under the assumption that what is good for one, would probably be good for all.
‘Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle’
Take the quoted instances for examples. We generalize that people like flowers. Who wouldn’t like flowers, is what we might think. There might be people who might not like flowers even without a reason. It’s their choice and they really don’t have to justify that to everyone. At least here the girl had a reason to say she hated flowers. My point is, even if she did not have a reason, it’s none of our problem. In the second instance where the guy lost his legs in an accident, it isn’t common that you find people with an aversion for brightness, but it did make a big difference for him and his wheelchair is a reminder of that.
As ironical as it may seem, we should avoid generalizations. People may or may not have a reason to justify their choices. As long as it doesn’t interfere with us, I don’t think we have any right to question them. While some people are open about their lives, some people aren’t comfortable sharing every detail of their lives with others and hence remain ‘isolated’ from the public point of view. We might pass off the cuff remarks and forget about it the next instant, but sometimes it pains to hear such remarks thrown at us, even when one is not at fault.
We don’t have to necessarily agree or disagree with other’s decisions irrespective of how logical it may or may not seem. The least we can do is to respect them!
we don't understand a person's problems until we are in their shoe.
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If she does not like flowers. we should respect that. But some people try to enforce their belief to others. What will you say if that girl demands that no flower should be visible in her presence? Last week there was a case in USA. An airline stewardess refused to serve alcohol during the flight because her religion prohibited it. She should have thought about it before taking that job.
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Nowadays we are too quick to judge anybody, and I sometimes really shudder to see different comments on Facebook and Twitter. We have no respect for other's decisions, likings and choices when they clash with our own.
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That is SO VERY important. Thankfully the job i am , I have to listen to everyone and NOT make up my mind .. because this is a fact that what we see or hear is not always the true picture.. there is always something else.
the work i do has changed me a LOT which i am happy ..
Bikram's
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Life is not worth the headache of judging others. Or ourselves, for that matter.
Destination Infinity
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Heartily agree with the sentiment here
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True. Even when we step into others' shoes sometimes we might not get the full picture.
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If she doesnt like flowers, she should stay away from it and not demand that there be no flowers in her presence, because there are others to be considered. And what you said is true, the air hostess should have thought about all that before signing up.
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Is agreeing to disagree that difficult? Sigh!
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Yes, there is always more to what meets the eye.
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Ah! Tell me about it. Who are we trying to impress anyway!
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Thanks Lata!
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I had posted a comment here, but I guess it got lost due to my poor mobile network. @SG, @Ashwini: The poor air hostess was merely doing her duty while being truthful to her religion. She had converted to Islam just a month before the incident, so she wasn't aware of the rules. On the other hand, she was in that job for 3 years.
After converting to Islam, she learnt a bit late, that religion prohibited her from consuming and serving alcohol. So she didn't refuse the passenger, but she merely requested other airhostess' to serve it whenever someone requested. This was well within her legal rights, as in her country of employment, the laws allow such religious freedom. The other airhostess' made a fuss out of it, leading to her suspension.
From the article:
“ExpressJet allegedly agreed to allow Ms Stanley to work out an arrangement with the other flight attendant on duty so that they could serve alcohol instead.”
“The 40-year-old had worked for the Atlanta-based airline for nearly three years and converted to Islam during that period.”
“Ms Stanley approached a supervisor in June after learning that her new-found faith forbids not just consuming alcohol but also serving it.”
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I agree totally, we shouldnt interfere in other people,s life or choices, as long as they dont affect our lives..
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its a fight within that needs to be won…a fear that needs to be conquered.
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True. As long as we are not getting affected, I dont see why we need to agree or disgree with them.
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True. We need to stand up to your decisions.
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If her religion did not allow her to serve alcohol, she should have asked for a transfer to a “suitable” ground job. She should not demand her colleague do her job and she just stand still.
This was well within her legal rights, as in her country of employment, the laws allow such religious freedom? She works for Express Jet. This is an American airlines. So her country of employment is US of A and not Saudi Arabia or Pakistan.
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I whole-heartedly agree! The whole art of life is about living side by side in respect with others, even if we don't agree. And we are just too quick to judge without knowing the full story…
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And US of A does allow it 🙂 In case you also read the quotes from article, she had discussed it with her employer and they allegedly agreed to it.
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If only people would think, “this is really none of my business' before passing judgement, the world would be a better place! Definitely, the girls did a good thing by directly asking the other girl, since they were curious. That's way better than speculating and coming to a wrong conclusion!
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She is a liar. No supervisor – at least in USA – will allow one person to do nothing and get paid while asking another employee to do double duty.
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We tend to jump into conclusions even without patiently waiting for the entire story to unfold!
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Sigh! Minding others' business seems to be of more priority than actually minding one's own business.
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I understand what you say especially about “some people aren’t comfortable sharing every detail of their lives with others and hence remain ‘isolated’ from the public point of view”
Very true.
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Yes, that doesnt mean we can go ahead and assume things.
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I feel no matter how hard we try, we just can't help it. I mean not generalizing and judging based on lines. To some extent we all do it, consciously or subconsciously. But yes, if we didn't, the world would be a better place.
And I was really hooked to what you said ” All of us have our own battles to fight almost every single day”. True indeed. 🙂
Regards..:)
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Well said Ashwini …. Getting judgemental is so easy …. We cannot be someone else and they cannot be us …. Live and let live …. They hate flowers , so be it !
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Yea, sometimes we can't help it. But you never know to what extent people go just by their half-baked assumptions.
All of us have some battles going on within us, so we might as well be kind to someone 🙂
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YEa, we should realize that others are entitled to have a different opinion as well.
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