Alone? Yes! Lonely? Not Really!

A few days back, the parents announced that they had to travel for a few weeks. I wasn’t exactly happy or sad, but staying alone was something I enjoyed. Of course I was going to miss my mom because she is always around when I’m home, but I was ok with that. I managed being by myself on and off for a few months in the past two years, all thanks to my nephew, so I knew I could pull it off.

So, I woke up on Saturday morning and savored by cup of coffee with the newspaper. I spent almost an hour reading and relaxing because my instincts told me that I wouldn’t get this time back, at least for a couple of hours. And then the routine started. I had to prepare breakfast, lunch, dinner,  clean up the house, go to the temple, do some grocery shopping for the week and take care of laundry among the many other chores. After all this I had time to actually relax just before calling it a day.

Why bother to remember when you can put  them down in these cute Sticky Notes.

Amidst all this, I received a call from a friend. He invited me home for lunch as he thought I must be missing my parents and sitting thoroughly bored at home. I was happy he was calling on to check, but I told him I anyway had to go out in the evening and had so many things to be taken care of before that so I would come home another day. But I was getting reminded of what he said about me (sitting idle) getting bored and sitting all alone.

As much as I would like to take offense for considering that I was jobless at home (excuse me, who do you think would put something on the table for me to eat or who would actually clean up the place) since I was alone, I couldn’t understand why they assumed I would be lonely. Yes I was staying alone but I enjoyed just being by myself. I find things to keep myself occupied, and even otherwise I’d not mind just sitting in my swing and listening to some songs and munching some snacks. In short I enjoy my company. I love the quiet atmosphere and how immensely it helps organize some thoughts, plan up stuff (I’m going to sign up for keyboard classes) and come up with new ideas. Given the hectic pace of my weekdays, sometimes I like this disconnect within the comforts of my home.

If you are in a noisy environment all day, you’d definitely appreciate the silence that may come your way. I think my life is similar. I love being in a noisy environment, with loads of people around talking with each other. For that matter people always say I’m lively and enthusiastic. I love being that way. So it is only natural that sometimes I make the best use of the me-time that I might get by chance. It’s like there are two different modes and I can seamlessly switch between them as and when my mind decides to. Which brings me to the question – If one cannot enjoy their company, how can they expect others would?

So am I the only weird one here, or do people actually like to be left alone at times?


36 thoughts on “Alone? Yes! Lonely? Not Really!

Add yours

  1. I like to be alone too! In fact, Saru was in India for like 6 months last yr and i really enjoyed my time 🙂

    I was not lonely…i cooked and did other household stuff too, apart from full-time job!


  2. I am a type of person who can be perfectly in peace even if locked up in a room for many days. If there is a book to read/write, it's a bonus. BTW, in a similar situation I'd rather go to a hotel and eat, than cook, etc. 😛

    Destination Infinity


  3. Oh, I love it! Being an introvert shy by nature, being alone and happy (not lonely!) comes naturally to me. It really amazes me how people can just assume things based on their perspectives. Great post, I wish I could read this aloud to all those who have said the same things to me!


  4. yessssssssssssssssssssssssss.. I do.. I think nowadays I am more happy when I am alone.. maybe i am in love with myself 🙂 ..

    In the last 2 years I have travelled alone.. stayed at touristy places alone.. and I JUST LOVED It ..

    in three weeks time I am going on a road trip all the way to Italy 1600 miles in my car 🙂 stop where i want , do what i want yipeeeeeeeeee



  5. Noooo…You are not weird…I am like you…that means I am not weird too. I love to hang out with people but at the same time, I like to be just with myself….you get to do all the stuff that had been on your mind. Go have fun, give a hoot to what others think or say.


  6. True, that's like recharging myself 🙂 and yes getting all those long pending stuff done is a task indeed, I wouldnt bother too much about what others would have to say. Thanks 🙂


  7. Yes Bikram, sometimes being with people makes us happy, but very often I find that I can compose myself and get back to being normal when I'm alone. I guess that's a part of the growing up/old process 🙂 Also, you dont have to share your pizzas with anyone. Yay 🙂

    Have fun on your road trip 🙂


  8. I'm also strongly against how people generalize introverts feel lonely. Just because someone doesnt (not cant), interact as freely with others, how does that give one the right to generalize and talk about others? Very valid.


  9. I'm not sure, or rather, I 've not tried that. Should see how long I can stay without interaction because that in itself is another task. And I like cooking, so I do it as something I like to spend time on rather than as a routine 🙂


  10. I always enjoyed being alone. I don't know how time goes by , but I love being on my own. Even after marriage, my husband and my children never bothered me, and I enjoyed many hours of solitude. Now with just the husband, i feel really good, when he goes on rare tour even if it is only f or 2 days, I enjoy being with really nothing to do. I am sure he too enjoys his “me time”.
    And as for the person who said , what will you do sitting all by yourself at home , don't take offense, it is just his way of inviting you to his place for some family time, it doesn't really have to mean that he was having a dig at you for having nothing to do in the house. It is just a normal colloquial expression.


  11. No.. You are not the only one. Trust me.
    My friends are convinced that every time mother goes out of station, i would be out all night partying, going out for dinners, enjoying (As i should, since i am in Goa, they say). But in reality, i will be just sitting at home with a beer playing games or reading a book with some instrumental music being played.
    Yes we are alone. But certainly not lonely in those times. who doesn't need sometime to just be. No thinking, no partying, no nothing. just peace….:)


  12. Thanks Rama. I guess the intentions were good, however that got me thinking about what people might assume if one is alone.

    Glad to know that many people, prefer to enjoy a little of their me-time in this hectic pace of our lives 🙂


  13. Wow! I loved your sentence ' Who doesn't need some time to just be.' That is a wonderful way of expressing it 🙂

    Ah! yes, I've started enjoying the process of doing nothing and still enjoying life 🙂


  14. Being alone can be of 2 types: one you know for sure somebody will join you soon after the lonely period is over another you know you will be lonely for ever.
    While it is easy to be happy in the first case it is very very difficult in the second case.
    Since yours is the first case, I can relate to your post very well. 🙂


  15. Glad you could relate to it. Probably it's due to the fact that I know this is temporary, I'm enjoying it. I'm not sure how it would be if at all, I'm in that situation 🙂


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