It’s interesting how the eyes see something and convince the brain that things are fine, and how the brain directs the eyes to take a closer look to find out if things are really the way they seem. For a third person, it might seem like all is well. But apparently, it might not be.
For quite some time now I have been witnessing many people around me open up about the problems they’ve been going through. Though it’s good to know that people are opening up, I was surprised how I had failed to notice that they weren’t doing well emotionally. For someone who boasts of being able to find if someone was happy or sad, I felt bad. I had failed to notice.
I asked Google a lot of questions regarding this and it promptly (and patiently) answered all of my queries. I remembered all those pep-talks and inspiring conversations and articles that I had read and I thought I should probably put them down here. Who knows who else might end up benefiting from this.
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As much as we’d like to hold on to certain people and incidents, things are best dealt with when we learn to move on. We might not be able to forget everything, but we do have the luxury of putting all of them in a box and storing them away as memories. This way we don’t lose track of the present while dealing with the past.
Will it mater in a few years?
This might probably sound clichéd, but it is definitely a good way of helping one analyse whether all the drama and action is really worth it. This serves like a litmus test to decide whether it really matters. If it is not going to matter in a few years, should you really care?
My problem/ Your problem
I read about this technique some time back and I can personally vouch that this is a wonderful way to decide whether to worry about something. Whatever comes my way, I categorize them as ‘My Problem’ or ‘Others’ Problem’ and it has helped me prioritize and deal with people . I can only worry about things that are under my control. If there is nothing I can do about something which is someone else’s problem, I can empathize and help them to an extent, as long as it doesn’t start affecting me in any way.
For instance, What I say – My problem. How others interpret it – Not my problem
What goes around comes around
Karma. Just wait to karma to do its duty and don’t be on a hurry to teach someone a lesson. You have a life, and you’d have your own set of goals and aspirations. Why waste time on someone who troubled you? Why give someone your time and a place in your thoughts when they clearly don’t deserve it?
It’s OK to put yourself first
I hate it when people call others selfish for putting themselves first. As long as my decisions aren’t impacting others, I don’t see any reason why I would have to be called selfish for considering my needs ahead of others. The way I see it -I’m the only person who is going to be around myself for a long time. So unless I take care of myself and make peace with my past so that it doesn’t affect my present, I wouldn’t be able to live my life peacefully. All I’d say is don’t be too hard on yourself, forgive yourself, pamper yourself a little now and then and just keep going.
Have some patience, faith and wait.
Some things take their own sweet time and we have to go with it in its pace rather than forcing things to work in the pace we want to. Just like how we might not get the best results immediately, the immediate results might also not be the best. We need to re-learn to be patient, have faith and wait.
Someone did rightly say ‘ Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.’
So don’t take life way too seriously, give it a mix of the seriousness and the fun it deserves. Also remember that you’ve been given all those problems because someone up there knew you would have the courage to tackle them. And what’s life without a few ups and downs anyway?