My sister and I are always at the extreme ends of a spectrum. Not that it troubled my mom, in fact she used to be happy that our preferences were so different, so it was one less thing for us to fight about. Apart from the fact that we do not like the same people, there is nothing much in common between us. So it’s only obvious that while I’m this extremely talkative outgoing social person, she keeps to herself and is very careful about who she socialises with and is very choosy when it comes to interacting with people. But with those whom she is comfortable, she talks well.
It wasn’t the “Oh! How I wish I could speak to everyone around me” mood but the “I’m fine with the few people I talk with, I don’t need any new company, thank you very much!” kind of mood. She was happy with that.
Once at a wedding, I was seated next to her and was explaining how the aunty in the bright red saree was related to us, and how the uncle who kept asking us if we had breakfast again and again (so much that we were tempted to go for a second round of breakfast) was related to us in more than 2 ways. She was amazed by the knowledge which I had gained (obviously from my mom) and I was expecting some nice compliment but what she said made me laugh. She said it was all fine that I clearly knew who everyone was but she requested me not to start talking with everyone because 1. She did not know many of them and 2. If I started a conversation with them, she would also be forced to talk with them and my sister wasn’t in the mood for that. When I told this to mom, my mom and I laughed about this for so long which for some reason made my sister angry. Even today when mom and I go for a wedding, we recollect this incident and laugh about it.
That was my sister a few years back.
Now that she is in a different time zone when she calls us she talks at length, like suddenly she has found so many things to say or she has been compensating for all the days that she kept to herself. Not that it bothers us, who wouldn’t want to hear the voice of a loved one for hours together when we only get to see her in Skype for a few minutes every week. I loved how my sister was opening up more and more. Not that she never spoke with us, she did but there is a whole lot of difference between the way she spoke earlier and the way she speaks now. It’s obvious she wants to talk with all of us because the person who insisted that a message is enough to wish someone a birthday is now calling them up and enquiring about their well-being.
I realised that it was not just my sister who had changed, but many more people who had moved abroad or who had relocated to another place where visits were limited to once a year. People are different, some like to talk, some like to keep to themselves. It all depends on the situation and nothing is better than the other. But I guess when you are taken and placed in a different environment where you really don’t know a lot of people and you can’t find people to talk to, all those days of keeping to yourself don’t suit your lifestyle anymore.
It is always good to open up to someone to share your troubles or vent out your frustrations. It’s always better to get it out than keeping it within you. That’s why you need people who would just listen to you knowing that it is more important to listen than to just respond randomly. It is good to have someone who will not judge you, and with whom you can feel comfortable after venting out rather than worrying about who they would later pass on the info too. It’s always good to have someone to talk to without any inhibitions. If you do have such people in your life, never let them go. Because tomorrow, you might find people who might empathise with you but they might not necessary listen to you or understand you. It makes a world of a difference.
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